DAY 14

I would like to share with you all a song I wrote in the middle of the year sometime.. it's the original that I wrote, but it was re written so music could go to it.
Before I copy and paste it I want to share with you also, what I was going through and how I can to be inspired to write this song.

I'm not sure how it happened, but I can remember now why it happened... I asked God for the gift of faith, this was my theme for the year, as it seems. I would ask Him alot, over and over, and as you all know, ask and it will be given. But not without challenges, pain, suffering, tests, well for me anyway. I don't know how God works in everyone elses life, but for mine it's all about chucking me in the deep end. So on with it, of course me being me and I easily get distracted, confused or just forget, I forgot what I asked for from God, silly me, so when my trials did come, I was angry, I felt rejected and very alone, I'd ironically lost all my faith, and I started slipping back into my old worldly self, tempted (I'm not saying God tempted me, but because I had let down my guard and lost all motivation to pray through it, the thief snuck in and stole from me and lied to me) I felt like I was becoming numb with the worldly things that I was doing, becoming unaware of sin. I can remember also pleading to God to prove that He was real and that if He didn't do certain things for me then He wasn't. What really broke me, was I had a horrible day at work, I was stressed, angry, depressed, everyone was yelling at me, and to top it off I had to catch a bus home, walk 20 minutes from the bus stop and I'm pretty sure it was raining... when I got to the door, I couldn't find the key.. no one was home. I completely broke down. I screamed at God where are you!!! and begged Him to magically open the door or something, again trying to get Him to prove to me that He was real! but nothing happened, I cried and cried. I was jealous of other Christians, and how they got things they asked for (but completely different things) One last time I asked Him "where are you" and before me I saw, my shoe print, and next to it a footprint, on the tiles made from water. again the thief came, and told me that it was just an old print from 7 hours before. I believed the thief, and ignored that gentle fire in my heart that came when I saw the prints.

So now my saving grace Jesus Christ... because I had gone so far backwards, I decided to go out with my friends again, drinking and partying, taking some things too far.. it was a horrible night.. I ended up in the bathroom crying, and absolutely pouring my heart out to Jesus to save me from what I'd become... and I heard a gentle voice saying "call mum" so I did, she came and picked me up, not angry, but loving me, and being happy that I had the maturity to call. She talked to me about it and she said to me "Stop looking back" it hit me so hard! I had looked back for something to fill the hole that had appeared again. My sister told me a few weeks later, that she had a dream about me, in a church, in a white dress, looking back at her and not at my groom. and I told her about what I had been through, and she asked me if I had asked for faith from God... and it all made sense... It wasn't easy from there on end and it's still not... I find it easier now to find strength in Jesus Christ to resist temptation.. and my faith has grown through prayer... and writing this song also helped me come back to Him, as it felt like I was communicating with Him, and Him to me.... Guys it's a tough world out there.. and there is no such thing as the perfect christian, it's incredibly hard for all of us. You've just gotta have faith, and remember you asked God for it.. and walk through your challenges with Jesus Christ, continually seeking Him as your strength.

Is life a game to you,

Choosing favourites and leaving the rest.

What if my heart is pounding after you,

And yet you ignore me..or is the thump thump thump blocking out your voice.

I keep answering the door, as it mocks me

But no one is ever there...

I keep knocking and knocking, but no one is listening to my noise..

Is it fair that you choose one, but not the other,

Is it fair that you don’t talk back.

I would follow you any where you go, but your footprints are washed away

With the gray mysterious fog... I cry out to you, but the thunder interrupts

Me everytime i try... i surrender and take down my wall.. but the advantage is lost.

I will seek and seek again.. but how much longer can i go.

Where are you, are you really there, or is my efforts not enough.

Have i gone too far, and you’ve just given up..

Will you ever fight for me personally, like i’ve heard you do before.

Or have i ashamed you in some way.

People talk about you all the time, i hear them say things. I am sinking

I don’t think i can do this anymore,

I am slipping away, i can give you another chance,

I will surrender one last time, can you fill me up

Can you be there for me, be so real too me

I would follow you any where you go, but your footprints are washed away

With the gray mysterious fog... I cry out to you, but the thunder interrupts

Me everytime i try... i surrender and take down my wall.. but the advantage is lost.

I will seek and seek again.. but how much longer can i go.

This is it one last time, Hear me say, i am yours!!

I am yours.. hear my heart as it beats for you,

Can you please show me the life i am missing, Oh please

I would follow you any where you go, but your footprints are washed away

With the gray mysterious fog... I cry out to you, but the thunder interrupts

Me everytime i try... i surrender and take down my wall.. but the advantage is lost.

I will seek and seek again.. but how much longer can i go.

I would follow you any where you go, but your footprints are washed away

With the gray mysterious fog... I cry out to you, but the thunder interrupts

Me everytime i try... i surrender and take down my wall.. but the advantage is lost.

I will seek and seek again.. but how much longer can i go.